Put Self-Care & Rest on the Wishlist This Holiday Season

The holiday season is often a time of joy and connection, but for many in the LaRue County community, the holidays can be a painful reminder of loss. Family members who sat around the table with us last year leave an empty chair this year. Traditions shift as people move, family members depart, and life churns forward.

As experts point out, it’s too common for our emotions to get caught up in the churn, especially during the holidays.

“Emotions are a normal part of our day-to-day life,” LaRue County Schools Emotional Support Specialist Marsha Duncan said. “However, they tend to become heightened during the Holiday season. This time of year people can experience feelings of grief, anxiety and even anger.”

Grief is defined as deep sorrow caused by the loss of an attachment. As Duncan points out, grief doesn’t have to be isolated to losing a loved one.

“People might be grieving the loss of a loved one or loss of a job,” she said. “Some may even be grieving the fact they are not where they thought they would be at this point in their lives. Holiday grief hits differently due to the fact we tend to reflect on things more as the old year ends and the new begins.”

International research supports Duncan.

A 2020 study from the University of Bergen in Norway unpacked the global prevalence of grief. Researchers found that over 25% of adults who experienced loss said they experienced “severe grief”: sadness that led to feelings of hopelessness and took a toll on physical health. These signs included eating less, isolating more, intense feelings of physical pain when a loved one was brought up, and a growing unwillingness to talk about those issues.

With so many struggling with the weight of emotions this holiday season, experts like Duncan note that emotional regulation is a “gift that keeps on giving!”

Emotional regulation isn’t a fancy idea; it’s simply being able to handle how you’re feeling. Sometimes it means challenging behaviors like anger or anxiety and stopping to ask “why do I feel this way?” and “will my actions actually change how I feel?” It can also involve focusing on calming or happy activities.

Duncan said she works with students of all ages on how processing their feelings and thoughts can make them better leaders. However, she said that an attitude of gratitude and rest can do even more for adults struggling with tough emotions this season.

“Gratitude can help us embrace all that makes our lives what they are and supports better health, happiness and self-awareness,” she said. “It also helps lower the rate of stress and depression. Rest is vital for our physical and mental health. It helps with our mood and concentration. Rest enables us to show up for others and for ourselves.”

How can people in the community actively practice gratitude? Give back.

“Focusing on helping and serving others or enjoying time with family and friends is a good way to navigate through those feelings of grief,” Duncan said.